I stared at this computer screen for at least 20 minutes before I even came close to putting something on it. Then I checked my Facebook for 15 minutes and when I was finished with that, I stared at the blank screen some more. In fact, just the mentioning of Facebook has reinvigorated a desire for me to check it again (this time I was able to resist).

It’s funny how easily we can be distracted by simple thoughts when we’re afraid to continue with something or even begin something. It’s so much easier to tell ourselves that we’ll get to it eventually – and genuinely believe that we will – but we end up sweeping it under the rug.

Getting things done

Despite my inability to get things done without at least a little procrastination at some point during the project, my view on starting and finishing things fall in line with something Pablo Picasso once said: “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”

You may delay, but time will not.
Benjamin Franklin

In fact, I’m sure most of us feel this way. We all understand the importance of completing a task and we all understand that that task most likely won’t be completed unless we take the time to complete it.

Rarely do we come home to find an essay we’ve been putting off magically completed. Rarely do we go to work to discover that we have nothing to do because it’s already been done for us. Rarely does the great work get written without the writer.

Historically procrastination has been viewed as a negative thing, both theologically and societally. Though, at some points in history (particularly the aristocratically driven French culture of the 17th and 18th centuries) not doing things was considered the height of gentlemanly “pursuits.”

Excuses in All the Wrong Places

We procrastinators look for excuses for not doing things as often as we possibly can. These excuses range from the simplistic (i.e. “I can’t make all of these party invitations right now because I’m sick”) to the insane (i.e. “I can’t write this report that may cost me my job because I have to play with my cats all day”).

The simple fact of the matter is that whether the task is easy and unimportant or complex and very important, we usually have the time to do it or, at the very least, the ability to make the time to do it.

Stop psyching yourself out by convincing yourself that you can’t run because you don’t have the right kind of shoes or that you don’t have enough time in the day to work on that book you’ve always wanted to write. Chances are there’s a shoe store right down the street. Chances are that the reason you don’t have enough time in the day is because you spend a good chunk of it watching reruns of Friends or catching up on Game of Thrones.

So ask yourself what’s more important: What happened to Tyrion this week on my favorite show? Or…where could I be if I’d sit down to write that book?

You see, excuses are just that: excuses. It is defined as “to release from an obligation or duty.” Excuses were created to take the blame of not doing something or doing something wrong and removing it from ourselves.

We have more control over our lives than many of us like to believe and that is why we need to take the time to think and reason out how we can do things rather than stubbornly giving them up.

It’s about time we became a little more stubborn about persevering and a little less obstinate about opting out.

I love inspirational stories from people who have achieved great things by following their dreams no matter what. Imagine what a different world it would be if there was no Walt Disney, no Star Wars, no Beethoven symphonies. These have all been created by people who faced numerous rejections yet refused to listen to the negative people who said, “you can’t”. Or imagine if someone like Oprah had listened to the critics instead of her heart. The world would truly be missing out on some of it’s greatest creations and inspirational people.

Some of my favorite inspirational stories

Francis O’Dea – You’ve probably never heard of Francis O’Dea but if you live in Canada, you’re probably very familiar with the coffee house company, “Second Cup”.

Francis grew up in Toronto, was sexually abused at age 13 and around that time starting drinking. Life quickly went downhill and before long he was homeless. He had to beg for change in order to survive. For 6 months he lived on the streets with no clue as to what he wanted to do or how to change his life. Today, Francis O’Dea is a multi millionaire. As he says,

One year I was broke, the next year I was a millionaire.

He changed his life by focusing on what he wanted. He got a job and slowly started to turn his life around.

Four years later he opened a little coffee shop and called it “Second Cup”. Second Cup is now one of the largest coffee shop chains in Canada.

• Wayne Gretzky
  Wayne Gretzky has been quoted as saying, “It’s kind of ironic when I broke in at 17, I was told I was too small, too slow and I wouldn’t make the NHL.” He’s now recognized as one of the greatest hockey players ever.
• George Lucas
  George Lucas spent four years sending the script for Star Wars around to the various studios and racking up numerous rejections in the process. Universal Studios and United Artist both both turned him down. Finally an executive from 20th Century Fox who had seen his American Graffiti film and had been impressed by that decided to give him a chance with his Star Wars. The film was made for $11 million dollars and was released in 1977. Since then the original Star Wars trilogy has grossed over 2.4 billion dollars. If he’d let his negative inner voice get to him he would never have ended up having the highest grossing film of all time.
• Einstein
  Was considered an “unteachable” fool by his early teachers.
• Michael Jordan
  Was cut from his high school basketball team. Michael Jordan quote, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.”
• Bob Parsons
  Founder and CEO of GoDaddy.com. He had a blog posting one time where he spoke about what he overcame in the pursuit of his dreams. Unfortunately, he’s taken it down now but from reading that posting, I learned he definitely wasn’t an overnight success and experienced a lot of failure on the way. But, he kept his vision in his mind at all times and said, “I spent very little time looking back or feeling sorry for myself.” Another awesome quote from the blog posting was, “Quitting is easy. The easiest thing to do in the world is to quit and give up on your dreams (and quite frankly, that’s what all the non-risk takers want you to do).”It’s too bad he took his blog posting down. It was a good one. Anyway, instead, you can read his 16 Rules which has some pretty good advice for all of us.
• Beethoven
  Beethoven’s music teacher told him he was a hopeless composer.
• Colonel Sanders (creator of Kentucky Fried Chicken)
  Was told “No” by over a thousand restaurants for more than a year while he lived in his car trying to sell his chicken recipe.
• Thomas Edison
  I’m sure you’ve heard of Thomas Edison and all the inventions he created. He’s actually known as one of the most prolific inventors in history holding 1,093 U.S. patents as well as a lot of patents in the UK, France and Germany. When Thomas was 4 he was sent home from school with a note. The note told his mother that he was to remove his son from school because he was “too stupid to learn”. Thomas’ mother decided to teach him herself. He only had 3 months of formal schooling yet went on to create numerous inventions like the phonograph. He was also partially deaf in one ear. There is some controversy as to what he invented and what Nikola Tesla invented, (See more info at this link: Nikola Tesla) but he still managed to be successful even with the lack of support from the formal school system.
• Walt Disney
  Was turned down by over a hundred banks when he tried to get funding to develop Disneyland. He was also fired from his job at a newspaper for “lacking ideas”. He also had several bankruptcies before he was able to develop Disneyland.

Know Any More Inspirational Stories?

What are your favorite inspirational stories? If you have some or even one, send it to me via my contact form. I’d love to keep adding to the list.

The key to making a big change is to make a small change first . This has to do with inertia. If you want to get unstuck quickly and effortlessly, leverage the power of making small changes.

We often get stuck in the idea of having to make some huge change in our lives, and it seems overwhelming so we don’t do anything. We just wish, wait and hope. Or we may just be stuck in a very comfortable routine. The trick is to realize that the force of inertia (the tendency of bodies at rest to stay at rest) will keep you exactly where you are unless you do something. That something doesn’t even have to be related to what you want.

You’ve probably heard of taking a big goal and chunking it down into baby steps. This is a great idea, but sometimes we don’t even know where to begin, what baby step to take. What you may not realize is that any small change leads to more change. Just do something different.

1. Wear red socks instead of navy socks.
2. Take a different route to work.
3. Eat at a different restaurant.
4. Drink tea instead of coffee.

Any change will do. This works because it gets you unstuck and into the change mode. The momentum will get you going on a roll, and before you know it, you’ll be making bigger and bigger changes relatively effortlessly. This technique enables you to skip the hard part of mustering up enough motivation, willpower, or courage to tackle a big goal, project or change.

For more, read Talane’s Top Ten Tips for Getting Unstuck and Get Motivated.

I’ve included this absolutely beautiful and inspiring short video about the impact of adding wolves to Yellowstone National Park, demonstrating the powerful impact of small changes.

Last week I shared a post talking about prepping all of your food for the week in one afternoon (I also have a whole chapter dedicated to make-ahead meals in my popular ebook) I offered lots of tips, pictures, and gave a step by step on what my food prep day looks like. I received lots of positive feedback on this post. However, within those comments were statements like this:

That looks amazing, I wish I could do that!
Wow, you are so organized, can you come to my house and do that for me?
I would love to food prep but don’t know where to start…
I tried to prep my food and got so overwhelmed I quit!

These comments, and others like them, made me think. I want you (my reader) to read the posts I write and think to yourself “I can do this”. I do not want you to feel overwhelmed or that it’s too out of reach. BELIEVE ME if you knew me in “real life” you would say “Dang, if Tammy can do it then I can definitely do this”. Not kidding! Some of my closest friends wonder how I even tie my own shoelaces some days. But one of my favorite quotes is “It never gets easier, you only get better”. This is so true. The more I work at something the “easier” it gets. Not because the task itself got easier but because I got better. I evolved. The person I am today with food prep is not the person I was 4 years ago just starting out.

If I were to give weekly food prep guidelines to the “just starting out” Tammy this is what they would be…

Don’t try to prep it all!

First and foremost, when starting out, don’t try and make ahead your entire weekly menu plan. This will completely overwhelm you – it can still overwhelm me. Start slow. The first week prep 1 or 2 recipes ahead of time and as you get comfortable with the process you can prep more.

Don’t try new recipes

When starting out with food prep it is best to stick with recipes you already know. This way you are confident in the outcome of the recipe and the only thing you need to focus on is preparing it ahead of time. This is the way I started with my food prep. I took recipes that I made often, like taco meat and red clam sauce, and prepared them ahead of time and then stored in the refrigerator and sometimes freezer. I was able to focus on what worked, what didn’t, and most importantly it allowed me to experience the benefits of having food ready. I know taco meat and clam sauce is easy to make but I still found having these meals made ahead of time to be extremely beneficial.

Choose which recipe(s), if made ahead of time, would make the biggest difference in your week

This is huge! If you are short on time or don’t have the energy to prepare a lot of food then prioritize your meals. Which recipe, if made ahead of time, is going to make your week easier? If you are rushing around every morning and always running out of time for a healthy breakfast then maybe focus on preparing breakfast sandwiches or steel cut oats. If dinnertime brings you the most stress then put together some meal starters or prep ingredients for a couple slow cooker recipes. If you are always running to the vending machine at 3:00pm then put together some veggie packs or bags of almonds. What is going to make it easier for you to eat healthier during the week?

When I was working out of the house having lunch prepared was huge. If I didn’t I was going to the vending machines or cafeteria for sure. You can view all my mason jar salad recipes here.

When we truly love someone, we want to see them thrive. We want the best for them, and we want to see them happy.

In our world today, too many people are struggling day-to-day with their health. They are barely surviving, let alone thriving. And often times they have no idea things can change, or no motivation to do anything about it.

It can be one of the hardest things in life to see someone you love struggling with their health… especially when you know just how good it can actually be.

Today you’re going to find out some powerful ways to help motivate your friends and family to take better care of themselves. Sometimes it’s not the message itself, but how it’s delivered that can make all the difference in the world. That’s why today you’re also going to learn what NOT to do when communicating with the people you care about if you really want to effect change in their life. This is essential stuff, and very powerful… so use the forces for good young Jedi.

While your workouts always leave you feeling refreshed, the muscle soreness afterward can also leave you feeling like a Robaxacet puppet – especially if you’ve just increased the intensity, frequency, or duration of your workout. For times like these, it’s always helpful to have muscle recovery strategies at your disposal.

Below are 10 natural ways to aid muscle recovery and ease muscle tension:

1. Hydrate

Okay, this one seems obvious, but many of us have a nasty habit of waiting until we feel thirsty to drink water – and if you’re not hydrated properly, your muscles will become stiff and prone to injury. I used to carry a giant bottle of water to work with me, but I found it to be really intimidating, so now I focus on drinking a glass of water every hour (with a hardcore replenish after each workout).

2. Lemon towel

Lemons are a natural anti-inflammatory (and smell amazing too). Mix two tablespoons of honey with the juice from three lemons and microwave for 30 seconds (an acceptable use for a microwave!). Dip a towel into the mixture and apply to sore areas to help your muscle recovery along.

3. Epsom salts

Epsom salts are made of magnesium sulfate: Magnesium is a natural muscle relaxant, and as a salt they help reduce tissue swelling. Dissolve one or two cups of Epsom salts into warm bath water and soak for 15 minutes or until the water has cooled.

4. Ginger supplements

According to researchers at Georgia College and State University, ginger may help reduce muscle soreness: A change was noticed within 11 days of using two grams of ground ginger daily.

5. Drink tart cherry juice

Studies suggest tart cherries may be more effective than aspirin at relieving pain and reducing inflammation, thanks to the antioxidant anthocyanins, which can help minimize swelling in sore muscles. Drink about an ounce of cherry concentrate right before your workout – or, if cherries aren’t your thang, enjoy other foods that are rich in antioxidants like quinoa, kale and blueberries.

6. Heat therapy

Heat therapy increases the flow of oxygen and nutrients to sore muscles while suppressing the pain signals being sent to your brain. Apply some form of heat – hot water bottle, heating pad, or a hot towel – to sore areas.

7. Cool with ice

With pain comes inflammation – and ice is the best natural remedy. It also acts as an anesthetic, essentially numbing the effected area and giving you a muscle recovery breather.

8. Stretch

Here’s the thing about muscle pain: It limits your movement, which ironically makes the pain even worse. (Oy to the vey.) Make sure to get your stretch on as often as possible – especially after sitting for extended periods of time or before an intense workout. Once you’ve incorporated more stretching into your day, muscle recovery will be a snap.

9. Exercise

You know how they say the best thing you can do to cure a hangover is to drink what caused the hangover? A study published in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning found the same is true for exercise: They compared the effects of massage or exercise to relieve muscle soreness, and found exercise to be just as effective.

10. Rest up

Especially after trying an intense workout you’re not used to, it’s best not to overdo it: If you sense an injury coming on, rest up before taking the plunge again. Listen to your body, and it’ll take care of the rest (no pun intended).

Are you being negatively impacted by the consequences of someone else’s behavior? Few things are more frustrating than seeing someone you love suffering, spinning out of control, and unable or unwilling to get help. What to do?

On today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’ll teach you how to avoid the biggest mistake you can make in this situation, and the surprising way to not just help– but get your inner peace back.

Are you really worried about someone in your life?

We’ll talk about what it really means to “help” someone versus accidentally enable them to persist in their problems.You’ll learn about how to avoid damaging your relationship with your loved one, and how to avoid the power struggle of co-dependency.

By shifting your definition of what it means to help, you’ll learn how to regain control of the situation. Getting clear about your boundaries, your values, and the one thing you really have power over (you) you’ll start helping your loved one develop the authentic, inner motivation they need to make lasting change.

The road to recovery is hard, but when you learn how to stop controlling, stop being upset, and start giving people the kind of help they really need you can change from being an accidental obstacle to recovery, to a catalyst for their growth.

Lastly, I’ll be giving you some practical steps for how to help yourself during your loved one’s change process. You’ll learn how to maintain your boundaries, regain feelings of control, and get the support you need to stay committed to being a true agent of change.

Most articles that offer dating tips will tell you what you did wrong on a date by recounting the deadly mistakes that are keeping you single: “Don’t be too fat, but don’t be too skinny.” “Don’t talk about your job, but do talk about your career goals.” “Be interesting … no, be interested. No, act cool.” Enough of that already!

The real reason you don’t have the love that you deserve isn’t how you acted on a date. It isn’t because you said the wrong thing or that you smiled at the waiter. It isn’t because you texted the guy after the date to thank him.

Here’s the hard truth: you picked someone who would leave you before you even went out on that date. Before you even spoke to this man, your mate selection mechanism was set on heartache. But the good news is, you can change your “Love Picker” and turn on your “Love Switch.”

Why do we pick the wrong people? There is a subconscious part of us that draws us to particular people who trigger a familiar feeling. We think it’s chemistry when the fireworks go off, but what’s actually happening is that your inner drama queen is having a field day. You’re bored with the nice guys and crave attention from the man who acts disinterested. Most people think they will never have chemistry with someone “nice” and that could very well be true. If you don’t change your mate selection mechanism, you will subconsciously choose the same heartache every time. You will ignore the obvious red flags, believing, that “this relationship” will be different … but nothing changes.

The key to finding true love is to discover the mechanism in your subconscious (we call it your inner Adam or Eve), which fits like a puzzle piece with potential partners. You don’t have to change how you act, your clothes, your weight, or your personality; you just need to shift your piece of the puzzle. When your puzzle piece shifts, you will see that the men or women you meet will start to change as well. You can have conscious chemistry with someone who wants commitment and love just like you. You will feel the fireworks, but it won’t be followed by a night of Ben & Jerry’s on the couch (unless you and your partner enjoy sweet treats together).

There are a few ways to change your “Love Picker.” In fact, your subconscious mind is always giving you clues on how to change it. It keeps bringing you heartache so that you can finally make an adjustment.

You may not have known that you can change it before today, but here is how:

1. Break bad patterns

Look for common themes in your relationships and figure out where the patterns have their roots. Try to identify the underlying fear you likely have of actually getting close to someone. Face the fear so you can break the bad pattern

2. Pay attention to your dreams

Your dreams are a treasury of insight and information to guide you on your journey to a fulfilling relationship. They speak to you in symbolic language so you need to journal about them and follow your inner guidance.

3. Create an inner dialogue

Work with your subconscious mind by visualizing and facing the part of you that acts as the picker. Ask yourself questions and trust the answers that come to you.

4. Get a guide

Hire a coach that specializes in subconscious work. This is the fastest way to get yourself aligned with love.

Once you shift your subconscious even slightly, you will see a huge difference in who you’re attracted to and who is attracted to you. You may even notice that more opportunities will show up to meet nice guys, and that friends will come out of nowhere to introduce you to someone worthy.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to worry about saying the right things or playing the dating game. Your picker, if well-tuned, will always give you the love match you most desire. Isn’t that much easier than wondering if you should wait three days to call him?

Is Your Relationship Making You Crazy?

You don’t have to be a marriage counselor to know that love is mysterious. And by mysterious I mean frustrating, joyful, heartbreaking, and breathtakingly, soul-stealingly gorgeous — all at the same time. Love breaks your door down and romantically sweeps you up, whether you want it or not. Love can prod you into fury, into agony, and into elation — sometimes all in the same day. When you’re in love you feel like you’re living in a perfect dream.

And then it can steal away as mysteriously as it came. You come home one day from grocery shopping to find that the passion’s paled into a wisp; Your once enchanting lover is now ignoring you in favor of obsessively scrolling through twitter, leaving fingernail clippings on the coffee table, and responding in distracted grunts.

What the heck happens to us? Why are we attracted to opposites, until they make us crazy? Why do we obsess over our beloved? Why does romantic love fade even as our attachment gets stronger? Why can anti-depressants totally change your relationship? What can we possibly do to keep love from withering in the boredom and banality of life?

Most marriage counselors and relationship coaches didn’t know the answer either, until Dr. Helen Fisher came along to flip the lights on and illuminate the mysterious nature of love.

Understanding Romantic Love

Through decades of research as a biological anthropologist, Dr. Fisher has uncovered the ancient secrets of love. (As in, monkey-brain ancient). Her groundbreaking work has revealed just how old, powerful, and biologically-based romantic love is through brain-image scanning.

For example, the drive for love lives in the same part of your brain as the drive for water and warmth. You know how, when you’ve been in love, it’s totally consumed you? You’re not imagining it: She’s shown that your brain is actually wired that way. Why do you feel like you’re going crazy when you break up, or when your attachment is threatened? Because romantic love has a lot in common with drug addiction.

There’s more: Through her work with Match.com and Chemistry.com Dr. Fisher has collected data from literally millions of people, and shown how your biologically based personality style determines your ideal lover. She has also helped us understand the biological basis of sex and love addiction, and the mechanisms at work in love, lust, and attachment. Her research pioneered new insights around how to de-mystify the love experience, and how to intentionally keep it alive for the long haul.

She’s given TED talks, written books, published articles in peer-reviewed journals: And now she’s here talking to you, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

As anyone who has been in a job search for a while knows, being invited to a job interview is not something easily achieved. Becoming one of the few “job candidates” rather than being part of the usually gigantic crowd of “job applicants” is a major victory.

Unfortunately, too many job candidates blow their interview opportunities, wasting all that time and effort. Don’t be one of those candidates. Never assume that the job offer is “in the bag” simply because you were invited for an interview!

Avoid these common mistakes to land that job

What you do during a job interview is viewed as a “sample” of your work. Everything you do is being judged because they don’t know you (unless you are one of the lucky referred candidates).

Show them you would be a great hire. Don’t make these mistakes:

Mistake #1: Appearing uninterested.

This drives employers crazy. Most employers have more applicants than they need or want.

If you aren’t demonstrably interested in them, they certainly aren’t interested in hiring you.

Instead: Demonstrate your interest in the company and the job. Show up on time, appropriately dressed. Turn off your cell phone.

Mistake #2: Being unprepared.

Obvious lack of preparation is an opportunity crusher. And, lack of preparation usually becomes obvious quickly.

Instead: Be prepared! Preparation will help you demonstrate your interest in them and the job. You will also perform better in the interview when you are prepared.

Mistake #3: Being angry.

Angry people are NOT people employers want to hire. Angry people are not fun to work with. They may frighten co-workers and/or customers or clients. They may also abuse both people and equipment (computers, cars, etc.). Not good contributors to a happy workplace or a prosperous business, even if they don’t “go postal.”

Instead: If you are angry over a job loss, horrible commute to the interview, earlier fight with your kids or spouse, or anything else, dump the anger before the interview, at least temporarily.