Coaching is an ideal way to solve the problems in your family. The coach can help you figure out the sources of anger and disrespect.
With family coaching everyone gets to step back and take a deep breath. You’ll get a nonjudgmental opinion about what is going on. And then you’ll work with everyone to set up new rules for happiness.
It’s all too easy for family members to get exhausted and start snapping at each other. When you feel like your needs are being ignored, disrespect and anger result.
Coaching improves your communication. You’ll learn how to really get through to your kids when you talk to them. And you’ll learn how to listen to them too.
Positive communication tips will be provided by the family coach. As you learn to speak to each other with love and respect, you’ll begin to see better results.
Family coaching is a process. It’ll take time for all family members to get on board with the new program. When there are setbacks, coaching encourages you to keep trying. The coach can also help you reassess your needs and make adjustments going forward.
Family coaching teaches:
- Age-appropriate communication. Young children live in the moment and often can’t process what their parents are saying.
- Coordinated parenting. This puts both parents on the same page. Then kids know what’s expected instead of getting mixed signals.
- Anger management. You’ll get new tools for dealing with your frustrations and expressing your needs.
- Promoting the positive. Coaching shows you how to add more fun to your family life. Even when you’re busy, it’s important to schedule family time that is relaxing and rewarding.
- Work and life balance. Focusing too much on work will increase tension at home. Coaching helps you control stress and manage your time better.
Family coaching is a process. It’ll take time for all family members to get on board with the new program. When there are setbacks, coaching encourages you to keep trying. The coach can also help you reassess your needs and make adjustments going forward. Coaching tips will help your family:
- Overcome negative beliefs about yourself
- Cope with stress
- Stop fighting and yelling
- Speak with respect
- Nurture loving feelings
- Like each other again
- Meet new goals
- Feel happy
The love, respect and happiness you need in your family can be achieved with coaching. With constant encouragement the coach keeps you on a positive path. The skills you gain will make everyone in the family feel valued.
Being there for your child
I was a failure in the past in this area, but I know its not yet too late for me to experience “Fatherhood.” By the grace of our creator, I was given another chance of becoming a father at my ripe age of 40s.
Most parents thought that the way to raising their kids was by ensuring that they have a good future. This means having to work hard to ensure that they get the best possible thing we can provide. However, we tend to believe that just by working or running your business, you are already a good parent.
We don’t take the time to explain that what we are doing is for them because we think they won’t understand.
What we do not know is that our kids simply need us to be there for them. They want us to be beside them when they run, when they fall, when they feel good, and when they feel bad.
- Believe me, no child has ever thanked God for a beautiful toy without his father.
- No child has ever thanked God for a wonderful party at an expensive hotel without his Dad.
- No child has ever thanked God enough for an award in school without his parents being present.
Children equate love with time
In short, for kids, they measure love by the time we give to them.
The time we spend so hard earning money for them, is actually the same time they crave from us. They want to enjoy the things we have been trying to provide them with us!
We need to find time to do even the following things:
- Stroll with them
- Play with them
- Eat lunch with them
- Cry with them
- Laugh with them
- Do foolish childish things with them
If we don’t ever set aside time for these things, then we have missed out the most important definition of love for them.
How they define love from what they experience from us, is most likely the same love they will show to their future family.
That is scary.
The same Dad who goes to work early in the morning and goes home very late at night from a drinking spree with his work comrades because of career politics will be replicated. The same mom who goes home late from the pressured work and overtime to help the family make ends meet. The child’s definition of love will only be based on how we “demonstrated” it to them.
I confess I have done this one more than one occasion. It’s almost an instinct to yell at your child to get their attention.
I know I am about ready to scream when my shoulders tense, my jaw clenches, and my breathing starts to move at a rapid pace.
I have found that if I pause for a moment and take a few breaths I will handle the situation in a more positive manner. I call this the Peaceful Parent Pause.
When a situation arrives that has you upset follow these steps.
- Stop (pause).
- Breathe.
- Reflect on the situation.
- React with positive intent or walk away.
Remember we are constantly teaching our children. One way that they learn is from observing us as parents. If we choose to react in a calm route, they will choose to react in a positive manner when they are in situations in their social context.
Good Luck with your next chance to practice the Peaceful Parent Pause.
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